COMPLEX: NY VS PHILLY

i found this especially interesting since the yanks went up against the phillies this past Wednesday. all non yankee fans are bitter fucks in my opinion, just trying to prove a point by 'being different' & sucking off whatever team tries to faceoff against NYC. so here's some of the comparison's that were made.

RAPPERS
EVE [ PHILLY ] VS. NICKI MINAJ [ NYC ]
Eve is the former stripper, and yet it’s Minaj who has our foul pole dancin’. Sure, Eve is way more established in the game, and may have the better career numbers when all’s said and done, but D-D-D-DAMN!—Nicki has an ass that could seat a whole ball club comfortably!
Advantage: NYC

SINGERS

ALICIA KEYS [ NYC ] VS. PINK [ PHILLY ]

Like pink colorways of team caps, Pink is kind of cute. That’s fine if you’re a little girl, but we’re some very childish grown-ass men here at Complex. Speaking of grown asses, what’s fucking with Keys’ sultry, sexy, steroidally thick power-hitting bottom half? Us, that’s what! Mitchell Comission be damned!
Advantage: NYC

ACTORS

SCARLETT JOHANSSON [ NYC ] VS. KAT DENNINGS [ PHILLY ]

The far more hilarious and personable Dennings, who grew up in the Philly suburb of Bryn Mawr, would have a strong grip on this match-up but she’s under-utilizing her rosin bags. Scar-Jo, on the other hand, has mastered the sacrifice squeeze, which is an undeniable winning strategy. Get it? We’re talking about titties, which really should be taken out to the ball game.
Advantage: NYC


40 SOMETHINGS

MARISA TOMEI [ NYC ] VS. MARIA BELLO [ PHILLY ]

Both of these 40-something actresses are damn fine and do nudity (Tomei recently in The Wrestler and Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead; Bello in A History of Violence) but only one of them has done full frontal. Marisa, if you don’t show us there’s grass on the field, how can we play ball?

Advantage: PHILLY

TABLOID QUEENS
LINDSAY LOHAN [ NYC ] VS. AMBER ROSE [ PHILLY ]

If this were 2004 and Lohan were fresh off of Mean Girls, there’s a good chance she’d be shutting Rose out, but it’s ‘09, and Amber is one of the best switch-hitters in the game. Plus, leathery Li-Lo’s looking more and more like an old catcher’s mitt.

Advantage: PHILLY